Learning to love the body you are in
Photo Credit: Sarah with Boudoir by Sarah
As a boudoir photographer myself I spend my day empowering women and helping them see a side of themselves they don’t see. Women are assholes to themselves and we have a hard time just loving our bodies. I am not excluded in that feeling and struggle with my body and self image daily.
So it was time for me to take my own advice and get in front of the camera. Yes I had my fears and insecurities but know I have to love the body I am in. Media and society say you should have curves but not too big and make women feel even worse about themselves. I am going to tell you now I am no small woman but I am a normal woman. I am a size 14 and I have ass and thighs for days...lucky husband I have. :)
I turned 40 in July of 2020 and it was so hard for me to accept. On that day I decided I was no longer going to cover my gray hairs and accept I have hormonal imbalances that make it so hard for me to lose weight no matter what I do. With all of that comes acceptance. Accepting I am a beautiful, confident, strong woman who loves her family unconditionally. Having 3 daughters of all different body types and personalities is a struggle to say the least but also making sure they love themselves is also important. I catch myself calling me “fat” and “big” and have my daughters reminding me I am not and I am beautiful.
Hearing how my thoughts of myself have changed meant it was time to be reminded how much of a bad ass I was. So I took the plunge and booked with a photographer I love and had a different style than mine and knew I would love it. Embracing what I encourage my clients to do before their session I did the same. I had my husband come with me to the studio and pick out the lingerie I would wear. Totally not the options I would choose and even though the session was all for me I wanted to make sure he helped me out of my comfort zone. With that item off my list I had my amazing hair and makeup artist Jaimee do whatever she wanted with my makeup. For people that don’t know me I rarely (like never) wear makeup and my hair is usually in a bun most days. I am kind of lazy like that and just don’t want to take the time to do it all. So the control freak in me let all control go and I gave myself over to the people I trusted.
OMG I was blown away with my makeup. I knew I would be because Jaime is amazing at her makeup talents. I have a ton of hair and wanted to be different from what I have done before so my daughter double french braided my hair 3 days before so I could have the mermaid look on my hair. Oh yeah I LOVE mermaids. Jaimee, knowing my love of mermaids, did a mermaid look on my makeup. Seeing the glammed up ME was so crazy! It was a total transformation from the everyday to HEY BABY!!
Now it was show time. I walked into the studio and told Sarah with Boudoir by Sarah I was all hers. She could tell me yes or no to the pieces I brought and I was giving all control to her. Yes, that is a photographer's love when they can have full control over the session and you just put your trust in them. OMG with every pose I began remembering I am sexy and beautiful. Doing the poses I show myself to clients but in lingerie made me feel amazing. We did fully nude and with just sheets and those are some of my favorites. Leaving my session I was wired and so happy with how much I loved myself. I felt like I had found ME again and the love I had missed in myself. Saying thank you to Sarah will never be enough so I just booked another session.
Boudoir photography is so much more than sexy photos to give your significant other. It is about women learning to love and accept themselves in the body they have. We are all aging and changing everyday and will never be the same as we were in our 20’s. Embrace the body that has brought you children, carried you through life, dealt with trauma and in sometimes fought with you to conquer addictions and fight off abuse. Ladies, if you are worried about your session and nervous, that is totally normal. Just know you will see yourself in a totally different light when we are done.
Love
Erin
Special thank you to:
Photographer Sarah https://www.facebook.com/BoudoirBySarah
Makeup by Jaimee https://www.facebook.com/makeupandhairbyjaimee
